Revisiting My Wounds Through Home Town Cha-Cha-Cha

Already finished watching this beautiful 16-episode K-drama on Netflix. Home Town Cha-Cha-Cha (Homcha) is a romantic comedy drama about life and love. Staring by Kim Seon-ho as Hong Du-shik and Shin Min-a as Yoon Hye-jin, Homcha is a story about a dentist Yoon Hye-jin who moved from Seoul to a fishing village named Gongjin where she meet Hong Du-shik who works as part timer with lots of certifications. 

To be honest, this is the first K-drama that I watch seriously by accidently. I have never had interested in K-drama before. Simply because I thought K-drama was not my cup of tea. Even last year when most of the girls in town fell in love and got crazy with Kapten Ri of Crash Landing on You and Mr Han Ji-pyeong of Start-Up, it didn’t bother me and I didn’t care. I have tried to watch those series, yet still not interested since the first episode. I just didn’t get it. Not cup of my tea. 

Until one evening, when I got so tired with work and I didn’t want to do anything. Even just for playing a guitar. The thing came to my thought was I want to watch something that soothing me and make my heart warm. I opened up my laptop and started to click Netflix. At that moment, Homcha was popping up in the screen. I just clicked it and watched. I didn’t expect anything, yet I started enjoying the story. Especially the scenery of Gongjin village which portrayed as a small tranquil fishing village closed to the sea. That’s the very first reason that made me stick to keep watching. Seeing those sea sceneries made me feel calm and sooth. However, beyond the sceneries, I found the story of Homcha also comforting me. Especially the first four episodes. The relationship between the two main characters of the story have always made me laugh and raised my curiosity on how their relationship would go. In addition, other characters in this drama also made the story richer and even warmer. Watching this drama has made my heart flutter and keep me smiling. I didn’t know the reason. Even at the very first time I also thought that this just a drama, not a real life and there would never ever be exist a man with character like Hong Du-shik whom finally I fell in love with after watching four episodes. 

Some of my friends told me that Homcha is like a healing drama which made the audience laugh, eased them to get through the hard time, and made the heart warm with all the scene portraying relations among the characters in Gongjin village. Last but not least, it was the scenery itself which so relaxing and calming. Yes, I agreed and that’s exactly what I fell during watching the first four episodes. However, started from episode five, I found this drama was not that as simple as ordinary romantic comedy drama. This drama has beautifully portrayed many life lessons on how people got through and cope with their pain and straight back to life. Each character in this drama had their own struggle to cope with their life. 

The main character Hong Du-shik himself apparently had wounds that he kept inside and this trauma haunted him for a long time. He even had tried to commit suicide due to his guilty feeling. This feeling came from some incidents he involved in the past that caused the death of his close friend and had made another person commit to suicide. Even though it was not his fault, yet he was blamed for what has happened. And as he was a pure and kindhearted person, he felt that he was responsible to all the incidents happened. He kept his wound inside and didn’t know how to cope with until he met Hye-jin. They fell in love and as their relationship grew stronger and they want to know each other better, Du-shik had to be open to Hye-jin about his past and his trauma. And this was so hard for him. There was a lot of tears and mixed feelings as well, regarding the struggle to cope with the pain. 

Even though a lot of tears, yes still it is a healing drama. As we know, healing process is never an easy thing. All the struggle Du-shik had faced and all his guilty feeling has perfectly depicted in this series as those feelings was just like part of mine. I cried so hard, yet I didn’t know why should I cried like this. It is like I see myself in Du-shik struggle. It is like that I am the one that have the wound and pain. In the last episode, I eventually realized that I was revisiting my wounds whilst watching Homcha. I just learned that there are some wound and scars that I have abandoned for a long time. Wound and scars that I haven’t done yet with myself. As Du-shik felt he didn’t deserve to be happy due to his guilty feeling, I found that I had that feeling too. Yet the background story was totally different. 

About 25 years ago, a young me had made a couple broke apart and the girl almost committed to suicide. Before knowing the suicide incident, I still thought that it was okay for me to have this relation with him since they were already apart. Until one evening, he came to my house and told me about her and the suicide things. He was very sad and I could feel the pain in his voice. Afterward I became a different person from who I was before the incident. I harmed myself a lot due to the guilty feeling. I still couldn’t forgive myself for broke them apart and made them suffering.  I know that

forgiving someone would never been an easy thing and it is even harder when it comes to forgiving yourself after all the damage you have done to others

Even after some years the girl eventually forgave me and she has moved on and continued her live, still I was haunted by those feeling for some years more. Lives that keep me busy had made those wounds just forgotten. The wounds, however had never been properly resolved up to now. 

Watching Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha is a healing journey. It has made me revisit my wounds and write this story on my blog. Afterwards, these writing is purely a sharing and could be the first part of my healing processes. Now I am thinking on how I could do self-healing. To forgive myself for my bad reaction and self-harming for so long in the past. To find peace and happiness within myself. To learn to love myself more and more.